Love: what is it really? So much effort is made to find meaning and to understand it. We try to touch it with the fingertips and take it in the palms of our hands. We desperately want to put a label on love. We try to put it in a box to put it on a shelf so that it is always at hand.
We hope to seize it as soon as we need it or when we feel ready! We want to have love close to ourselves to be able to use it when it feels ready to take the big step. That is to say, when one wants to fall madly in love with another person.
Love is an indefinite concept
In spite of all our efforts, it is difficult to exactly define the meaning of love, to find the meaning of this feeling which makes one deeply attaches oneself to another person. Moreover, we can not understand what we really feel when we are in love or how this feeling becomes something tangible in our lives.
When we think about love, we think about butterflies, the first time we met a person who made us turn our heads and the way our heartbeats when we approach a man which we like. We also think of the kisses and the way our knees tremble when we look at that of the beloved.
We feel that love is a whirlwind of positive feelings that give us the feeling of living on a small cloud and being untouchable. But, love is much more than that … Moreover, love may not even be that at all!
When we dwell on our past and present relationships, we can wonder if we were really in love at the beginning of these. Maybe we just let ourselves be carried away by the attention that this man was paying us? Were they attracted by their physical appearance or their soul? Were we in love with their spirit or the way we felt at their side?
Because, finally, love is not just a feeling. It is an action, a manifestation of emotions, a chance and a moment of faith during which we decide, from the depths of our souls, that we want to be with this person, whatever the cost!
For some reasons, not always obvious and clear, we always say that love is beautiful and easy. We think that once we meet the right person, she will fall in love with us in a sweet and wonderful way. It is believed that when one finds the man with whom one is destined to be, everything arranges and seems to be ordered, like the pieces of a puzzle. Quite simply…
Yet true love is complicated and messy. True love is decisions and actions, thoughts and emotions. It is a continuous process during which we try to really know the person with whom we are. And, how can this adapt and find its place in our chaotic life.
True love is knowing that this world, this person and you are not perfect but believe that you will have a beautiful and healthy relationship, despite all the obstacles and difficulties.
Love is not just a feeling. It’s not just two joined hands or two bodies that come together in a consuming passion. It’s not about being with someone who makes you laugh or smile when you have an appointment.
Love is not just about enjoying the kiss of the person you’ve come to know and that you consider closer than your own family. These are not just beautiful memories that you can mark on your calendar. Love is not finding the person you feel comfortable with, nor the one who gives you a sense of comfort.
Love and action
Love is pushing, day after day, to keep that feeling of comfort and intimacy, despite obstacles, disputes or the vagaries of life. It is a sensation that can cause confusion and conflict because the two partners of a relationship grow together, but also separately!
Love is actually a challenge. It’s meeting someone who drives you to be better, smarter and more ambitious than before. It’s finding a person with whom you will fight, side by side, and for whom you are ready to lift mountains. Love is to realize that your life was complete before but that, in a strange and inexplicable way, it became even better.
Love is imagining the arms of the other around your shoulders, once you are old. This is to consider evenings, birthdays and weddings, accompanied by this man. love is thinking about the family and children who might surround you one day. It is, quite simply, the feeling of “forever”, even if it is difficult to visualize.
But, love is also all the challenges that come with those dreams: the complexity, the confusion, the fear, the failure and the mistakes that both partners of a relationship make. Because in life, you have to learn from everything and move forward.
Love is not just a feeling. It’s a choice, a decision, an action and a movement. A movement from one person to another, despite all that, can be found on your paths. Even if others tell you that you have to let go of this relationship and in spite of all the situations that make you break up; you make the choice to stay together!
Love is going to one another, despite the obstacles of life. In this temporary life, you have chosen to believe in others, to give them all you have and to be loved, despite the low probability of success.
Finally, it is surrender to this feeling not always easy to understand or define because love gives you the impression of having wings and being able to conquer everything. Do not be afraid to love and be loved!