What is unconditional love?
Unconditional love is so different from what we are used to receiving, in our friendly and loving relationships, that most of us do not even know what it is. Indeed, nowadays, what is called “love” is often a simple reflection of the passion, affection, co-dependence or a self-centered need that one person feels for another.
The truth is that true love is rare and unique. You know that you have found true unconditional love if you feel fully understood, seen, accepted and loved as you are. This feeling is the most liberating feeling you will ever have the opportunity to experience!
Definition of unconditional love
Simply put, unconditional love means that you love someone unconditionally and expect nothing in return. Whatever your partner says, does, thinks or believes, you love him and accept him as he is. This love is not reserved for romantic relationships. It can also concern animals, friends, family and, above all, yourself!
The more you are able to love yourself unconditionally, the more likely you are to love others in the same way. When you love someone without seeking to benefit you, you are on the path to a pure and healthy relationship.
We often make the mistake of comparing maternal love to unconditional love. However, it is very different! The feelings that bind a parent to his child come from the family bond (and most of the time blood) while conditional love is given to a person who has been chosen.
In a romantic setting, this can sometimes be difficult to maintain. For example, when the person you unconditionally love is an alcoholic or a gamer, you are aware that this relationship cannot last because it is unhealthy for you. In order for unconditional love to survive, there must be mutual respect. If your partner adopts an attitude like “she loves me, she will, therefore, support everything I do”, your couple will not resist!
Difference between conditional love and unconditional love
What makes it different from conditional love? As their names indicate, these two terms are completely opposite. Besides, conditional love is not real love since it finds its source in the ego and not the heart.
Unlike unconditional love, conditional love must be earned. And, only, once your partner has decided that you have received the right to be loved, he will show affection, respect, and kindness. This love is restrictive and limited and it is only given if the person in question first received something: “I would love you only if…”!
Conditional love is born in an environment of selfishness and self-centeredness. However, it can only last if certain rules are followed. For example: “I will love you if you stay beautiful”, “I will love you if you cook well”, “I will love you if you have a lot of money” etc… In short, this is the recipe for an absolutely miserable relationship!
How to love unconditionally?
To love unconditionally, there are a few rules to follow:
1. Communicate openly to meet the needs of each of the two partners.
2. Don’t hold up. Do not communicate defensively, rather express your feelings and take the time to understand those of your partner.
3. Don’t let the little obstacles in life shake your love. In your love commitment, you must be able to let go of certain things and not take everything to heart.
4. In your relationship, share the power! Your partner (or you) cannot have the controls in your hands. You have to make important decisions together and respect each other’s choices.
5. Accept unconditional love as a behavior, not a feeling. You want to act to make the other happy, without taking into account the benefits you can derive from it. It is an act of pure generosity.
6. Ask yourself: Do I act selflessly with this person? ”. Privilege sincerity and don’t let your ego take over. You have to be as real as possible.
7. Learn to forgive. When you have been injured, it is sometimes difficult to forgive. Especially if the other shows no signs of remorse. However, when love is unconditional, we must make the effort
Why do we need unconditional love so much
Unconditional love is at the heart of everything we seek, as human beings. Not only is it essential for our physical, mental and psychological health but it is also essential for our spiritual well-being. If you are not able to find in yourself the purity of love, you will be content with relationships only tinged with affection and selfish gratification.
The mistake that many of us make is to believe that this love is found outside, in certain people, certain places or certain animals. We forget to look for it deep inside. Like plants that don’t get enough water, without it, you become dull and sad and you even start to disappear.
This desperation leads us to enter into relationships with the wrong people at the cost of many sacrifices. The most important being our happiness!
However, some people consider that unconditional love is not balanced love since we give without expecting anything in return and sometimes without ever receiving anything. But isn’t that the goal? Be generous and loving with your partner, give him affection and respect to the point of overwhelming him with positive feelings.
So even if at the beginning, he does not love you in the same way, by seeing you acting in this way, he will want to return the favor by filling you with happiness. The definition of unconditional love can vary from one person to another but the objective is always the same: to love in the purest way possible!