In movies as well as in successful novels, love stories often have a happy ending. Alas in real life, it is often far from the “And they lived happily and had many children”. The routine of our daily life accompanied by its vicissitudes often take over the life of a couple. Yesterday’s lovers are thus trapped in the routine and forget their source of happiness of yesteryear. How then to revive the flame and maintain the complicity? How to relearn how to love each other and make love last a lifetime?
Five years in the life of a couple
According to a recent survey by INSEE, after 5 years of life as a couple, many romantic relationships burst. A scientific study goes even further, stating that love would only last three years, as writer Fred Beigbeder estimated. In the same way, far from the romantic idea that one makes of it, the love would be only a purely biological process and therefore inevitably temporary according to many neurobiologists.
Experts say there are many reasons why this happens. The first is that the first years of a relationship involve many challenges. At first, you do not see things as they are in reality. You project what you want to see on your partner. In the next step, you become more realistic and disillusionment sets in. To spice up your life as a couple becomes difficult and we prefer to give up rather than relearn how to love each other.
Survive at the end of the honeymoon phase
The most important barrier to any relationship is perhaps the one that few people see: the end of the honeymoon phase. The magic we’ve seen from the beginning begins to fade. The rush we had when our tender enters the room disappears. Everything seems less exciting.
When you are caught in a brand new relationship, it’s hard to imagine that this can happen. To deny this evidence would be a mistake. This situation takes people by surprise, leading many to confuse the end of this phase with the end of their relationship. However, do not be mistaken: loss of excitement does not always mean a loss of love. So do not fall so fast without even trying to revive the flame.
Relearn how to love each other after 5 years of life as a couple
5 years of couple life can easily seem an eternity. One can fall into monotony and get stuck in a routine. At this point, it is essential to revive the flame and spice up his life as a couple to hope to relearn how to love each other. To do this, nothing better than the good old methods.
First of all, it is essential to give yourself a little time each – separately. Staying glued together for too long may actually cause a lack of interest. There is no more surprise and therefore more excitement! Anyway, getting away from each other could help you realize how much you still love being together. Give him time to miss you – and vice versa. It can mean taking a week or two without seeing each other or just planning a day or even hours of free time each week.
You can also try to renew the experience of the first appointment. The goal here is to recover some of this initial magic by stimulating this feeling of nascent love
. Put yourself on your 31, a little perfume, nice shoes, and presto! Do your best to relearn how to love yourself and impress your partner … as you did before. Of course, after 5 years of life as a couple, you are comfortable in pajamas and eating ice cream together on the couch. That’s good, but making an effort for each other from time to time will remind you why it’s worth it.
To relearn how to love each other: to pick up the pieces after an infidelity
To marry, to found a family, to bloom together and to love each other until death separates us are dreams that we all pursue. Only a few couples really succeed in making the pleasure of living together last longer. This is how temptations become more and more numerous. And unfortunately, it is not so rare that we succumb to it. After all, 5 years of married life can be long.
Thus, many factors can cause a person to see elsewhere. Contrary to what we think, it does not always concern the intimate life. Sometimes it can just be by:
- Lack of affection ;
- loss of tenderness and mutual care;
- breaking the communication;
- physical health problems;
- Addiction etc.
This is where always spice up his life as a couple could have been de rigueur.
But, to forgive infidelity is not easy. Recovering from an affair will be one of the most difficult chapters of your life and relearning how to love yourself may seem difficult. However, with the desire to rebuild trust, to admit guilt and to learn to forgive infidelity, it can deepen and strengthen the love and affection we all yearn for.
Let time do its work
It is important to take the time to heal and understand where the problem is coming from. This is not a decision to take at your expense. Asking for outside help can be invaluable in learning to forgive infidelity
. Seek help from understanding friends, experienced spiritual leaders, or a trained marriage counselor to help you relearn how to love each other.
Then, we must try to restore confidence. Make a list of things you want to do to restore it, forgive infidelity, and achieve reconciliation. Agree on a schedule and a process to follow. If you have been unfaithful, acknowledge your guilt and seek genuine forgiveness. If your partner has committed adultery, offer him the opportunity to redeem himself. In short, look for mutual understanding. And now, nothing will stop you from starting the process of relearning yourself.