Life does not give us gifts. Many are those who have been damaged by life and by love. That said, when you think about it, we are all a little damaged and all need to be re-tamed.
Years go by and life affects us whether we like it or not. Relationships succeed each other and eventually end. So we wake up one fine morning, alone and afraid to remain so.
We were ridiculed. We were harmed. We were injured and it is more and more difficult to recover and get up.
In short, we have been roughed up by life. And I know that everything I say here is far from pleasant. But far be it from me to depress you, quite the contrary. I’m here to tell you that life is full of surprises and that despite all the suffering already suffered, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
But if I write, it is above all to address the man who will share your life in the future. Let him know that despite your fragility and the difficulties you have experienced, you are not broken.
Your heart has been trampled on, but you have been able to pick up the pieces or you will do so very soon. You will be ready to love again. You have lived in hell but you are alive and love will soon surface in your daily life.
So, to the one who will soon come to illuminate your existence: let him be patient and able to move forward in hushed steps. If you succeed, you will quickly learn to teach him to love again.
You just have to listen
Show understanding and tolerance. Compassionate and considerate.
If you want her to feel good with you, you will have to find the strength to enter her life and apprehend her sufferings. You will have to grasp them and understand them.
Because when you’ve suffered a lot, it’s usually hard to express it. One tends to fold in on oneself and to close. To build barriers and not allow anyone to break through them.
But if you know how to be patient, you can help them break down their barriers and trust you. You can help him relearn life together and especially the sharing it implies.
She needs to live through her suffering and overcome it, first alone and then by your side. You won’t be able to help her suppress what she’s feeling, but you will undoubtedly be able to help her live with it.
Hear it, but never judge it
The more time passes, the more it will succeed in the opening. She will find the courage and the immense strength to confide in you and to tell you what she experienced. To share with you all the emotions she experienced. All the suffering she endured, etc.
But above all, do not judge it. Be understanding, never try to explain or justify your suffering. Because nothing can justify all the harm done to him. Neither illness, unconsciousness, nor his own childhood. Nothing.
Nothing justifies the harm we can do to someone. Nothing justifies violence. Nothing justifies insults. Nothing justifies lies.
So stay out of the situation. Listen to it, console it, help it move forward but never take sides. Above all, do not try to change it.
You have to understand that you are not a bandage
This is a very important point that I wish to emphasize. Yes, she went through hell. Yes, she may even have had to deal with a violent and humiliating spouse. But she doesn’t expect you to heal her or help her remove her past.
Because whatever you do and whatever it does, that past will always be part of it. He helped make her what she is today. It is undeniable and above all, it is something that no one can change.
No, your job is only to help him open up to the future and love. You must remind him that his life does not end there and that many beautiful things are still waiting for him.
She doesn’t need a savior or a messiah. She needs a man who helps her re-tame happiness.
Know how to be worthy of his trust
Know what you are getting into. Don’t make him relive hell. If you decide to get involved with her, be sure of your choice. Do nothing until you are absolutely sure of yourself.
We have abandoned it, many times. We dropped it. We mistreated her. Don’t try again. If she finds the strength to trust you, you have to understand what it means for her … The world …
It’s a huge step and she deserves you to do the same to her. So keep your promises. Be there. Take care of her as you take care of the person you love. Pamper it. Treat the. Show her that she is important and unique.
In short, know how to show yourself worthy of her. She deserves it and believe me, she will return it to you a hundredfold.
Don’t treat her like she’s sick
It is also a very important point. She suffered and she keeps many scars: moral, psychological and even perhaps even in her flesh.
But she is not sick and if she decides to welcome you into her life, it is because she feels ready for it. Because she made the choice. She is an adult and has taken care of herself until then, despite all the horrors she has had to face.
But beware, that doesn’t mean she’s sick. It is damaged, but that does not mean that it must be treated like a small fragile animal that has just been born. On the contrary, what she needs now is with all your strength and all your courage to find her own.
Be gentle and caring, but do not treat her like a doll that could break at any time. In short, treat it with love. As you would treat any other woman that matters to you.
It will heal. Trust him. It is a question of time and especially of all the affection that you will be able to give him.
Above all, prove to him that you are different
If you want to build a love story with her, you will have to be patient. We have already specified it … But you will have to prove to him during this time that you are different from the others. You will have to prove to him every day and for a long time that you are worth it and that you are not going to abandon him.
Love her fully and madly. Love her as she is ready to love you. Give yourself entirely because once she can count on you, she will give her soul and heart.