People keep asking me questions that don’t concern them. They continue to give themselves the right to intrude on my private life and to ignore the discomfort I feel when they ask me why I am not yet married.<><>
The biggest shot of all is their intro – how smart, beautiful and successful I am, and that this is the perfect time to get married.<><>
Because of how I am, <><>I find it hard to tell people to meddle in their own business. <>
I find it hard to explain why I am still single or why I have no interest in welcoming a man into my life.<><>
Most of the time, I don’t even know what to say or how to answer, so I smile and shrug. <><>
It doesn’t silence them, but by the time they ask another question, I’m already 7 feet deep in depression and anxiety.<><>
I am not single because of the toxic men. I am single because <>of<> the toxic man I have had in my life.<>
I lied to myself so many times and so well, that I believed it myself. <><>
I believed my own lies – that’s how good I am at running away from my problems.<><>
I told myself that I was too busy to have someone in my life right now. I gave priority to my career rather than seeking love in life for a while. <><>
I told myself that I was going to postpone any relationship because I now prefer to focus on my life. <><>
That someone new would occupy my mind too much, and that I would be unable to realize my dreams.<><>
I told the others that I was really looking and that I had a few men in mind, but that there was nothing serious at the moment and that if there was a change, I would tell them. <><>
So there is no reason for them to ask me the same question every time they see me. As soon as I find a husband, they will be the first to know. <><>
They were far from suspecting that the dates for me were a thing of the past.<><>
Growing up, after a few relationships, I had to wonder what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t keep someone in my life. <><>
I know that I work perfectly well on my own and that <><>I am perfectly happy as well <>, so why can’t I be with someone else and share my happiness with another? It made me think…<><>
I have always had more male friends than female, always. It was really like that – I never saw them as anything but friends and I was super comfortable having them around me. <><>
If I saw one of them fall in love with me or send me signals, I acted as if I had not seen him. I closed my eyes and continued as if nothing had happened.<><>
It’s not like I gave up on love right away. It’s not like I didn’t try to find my man, but something was wrong. <><>
I didn’t immediately run away when I met someone new. It was not like that. <><>
I am able to be attracted to men and I want one in my life. From time to time, there is someone who appears in my life, someone with whom I could imagine myself in the future.<><>
And then I start dreaming and imagining what our life would be like, what kind of man he is and how he would treat me well, until I transform him into someone perfect in my head. <><>
From a distance, everyone seems perfect. As soon as we try something, as soon as we get a little closer, I start to notice the slightest faults of this person and it is done instantly, which is good, to be honest, because it was much worse before.<><>
I used to get involved in a relationship even though I knew it wouldn’t work. I signed up even though I knew it would end before I even started. <><>
I was giving it a chance, it worked for a few months and I was just waiting for a bogus error or excuse to leave it.<><>
I was one of those girls who regretted giving someone a chance the minute she did it. <><>
But I was too stubborn to give up once I realized it. I was made believe that this time, things will be better. <><>
Things were never going to get better because I’m broken. And I can’t dance the waltz with anyone else until I have repaired myself and learned to dance with someone.<><>
The minute I gave someone a chance, I regretted it. Either I lost a friend or I became an idiot. <>
I climbed the walls around me and waited for a window to open to exit the relationship. <>
I only left behind broken people and it was killing me. I didn’t know why I was unable to have a working relationship or how I could be so emotionally damaged and unable to love people who love me in return.<>
One evening I sat down and admitted that I had a problem. I just knew that I could no longer continue to be oblivious to what I was doing to others and to myself. <><>
I analyzed my life and it struck me: I was one of those girls whose relationship with her father had left her with a deep emotional scar. <><>
I was one of those girls who had a toxic father. I was one of those girls who has been in the grip of a toxic man for far too long.<><>
I left so many broken men behind me because the one who was supposed to love me didn’t do it. <>
I kept walking alone in life because the only man who was supposed to show me what love was, didn’t do it.<>
Her way of treating women in her life showed me how women should never be treated. <><>
I realized that no man will ever be good enough for me. I realized – that because of the love he didn’t give me, the love I deserved but didn’t receive – I could never trust another man again. <>
I’ll always look for him inside other men just so I can run away from them as far as possible.<>
I didn’t have a toxic boyfriend because I had a toxic father and it was enough to never give another man a chance in life again.<><>
Even if I find it hard to trust men, I believe in love. I just hope that someone will convince me that I was wrong to think that there is no one who is right for me. I believe he will understand what I went through and see the scars on my heart.<><>
I’ll be patient enough and wait for someone special <>to make me vibrate and make me feel that I’m not guilty of all the shit that happened to me. <><>
With him, I will really become myself again and find that peace in my heart that I have dreamed of for so long. <><>
Even if my father didn’t show me what love is, there will be a man who will.<><>
People keep asking me questions that don’t concern them. They continue to give themselves the right to intrude on my private life and to ignore the discomfort I feel when they ask me why I am not yet married.<><>
The biggest shot of all is their intro – how smart, beautiful and successful I am, and that this is the perfect time to get married.<><>
Because of how I am, <><>I find it hard to tell people to meddle in their own business. <>
I find it hard to explain why I am still single or why I have no interest in welcoming a man into my life.<><>
Most of the time, I don’t even know what to say or how to answer, so I smile and shrug. <><>
It doesn’t silence them, but by the time they ask another question, I’m already 7 feet deep in depression and anxiety.<><>
I am not single because of the toxic men. I am single because <>of<> the toxic man I have had in my life.<>
I lied to myself so many times and so well, that I believed it myself. <><>
I believed my own lies – that’s how good I am at running away from my problems.<><>
I told myself that I was too busy to have someone in my life right now. I gave priority to my career rather than seeking love in life for a while. <><>
I told myself that I was going to postpone any relationship because I now prefer to focus on my life. <><>
That someone new would occupy my mind too much, and that I would be unable to realize my dreams.<><>
I told the others that I was really looking and that I had a few men in mind, but that there was nothing serious at the moment and that if there was a change, I would tell them. <><>
So there is no reason for them to ask me the same question every time they see me. As soon as I find a husband, they will be the first to know. <><>
They were far from suspecting that the dates for me were a thing of the past.<><>
Growing up, after a few relationships, I had to wonder what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t keep someone in my life. <><>
I know that I work perfectly well on my own and that <><>I am perfectly happy as well <>, so why can’t I be with someone else and share my happiness with another? It made me think…<><>
I have always had more male friends than female, always. It was really like that – I never saw them as anything but friends and I was super comfortable having them around me. <><>
If I saw one of them fall in love with me or send me signals, I acted as if I had not seen him. I closed my eyes and continued as if nothing had happened.<><>
It’s not like I gave up on love right away. It’s not like I didn’t try to find my man, but something was wrong. <><>
I didn’t immediately run away when I met someone new. It was not like that. <><>
I am able to be attracted to men and I want one in my life. From time to time, there is someone who appears in my life, someone with whom I could imagine myself in the future.<><>
And then I start dreaming and imagining what our life would be like, what kind of man he is and how he would treat me well, until I transform him into someone perfect in my head. <><>
From a distance, everyone seems perfect. As soon as we try something, as soon as we get a little closer, I start to notice the slightest faults of this person and it is done instantly, which is good, to be honest, because it was much worse before.<><>
I used to get involved in a relationship even though I knew it wouldn’t work. I signed up even though I knew it would end before I even started. <><>
I was giving it a chance, it worked for a few months and I was just waiting for a bogus error or excuse to leave it.<><>
I was one of those girls who regretted giving someone a chance the minute she did it. <><>
But I was too stubborn to give up once I realized it. I was made believe that this time, things will be better. <><>
Things were never going to get better because I’m broken. And I can’t dance the waltz with anyone else until I have repaired myself and learned to dance with someone.<><>
The minute I gave someone a chance, I regretted it. Either I lost a friend or I became an idiot. <>
I climbed the walls around me and waited for a window to open to exit the relationship. <>
I only left behind broken people and it was killing me. I didn’t know why I was unable to have a working relationship or how I could be so emotionally damaged and unable to love people who love me in return.<>
One evening I sat down and admitted that I had a problem. I just knew that I could no longer continue to be oblivious to what I was doing to others and to myself. <><>
I analyzed my life and it struck me: I was one of those girls whose relationship with her father had left her with a deep emotional scar. <><>
I was one of those girls who had a toxic father. I was one of those girls who has been in the grip of a toxic man for far too long.<><>
I left so many broken men behind me because the one who was supposed to love me didn’t do it. <>
I kept walking alone in life because the only man who was supposed to show me what love was, didn’t do it.<>
Her way of treating women in her life showed me how women should never be treated. <><>
I realized that no man will ever be good enough for me. I realized – that because of the love he didn’t give me, the love I deserved but didn’t receive – I could never trust another man again. <>
I’ll always look for him inside other men just so I can run away from them as far as possible.<>
I didn’t have a toxic boyfriend because I had a toxic father and it was enough to never give another man a chance in life again.<><>
Even if I find it hard to trust men, I believe in love. I just hope that someone will convince me that I was wrong to think that there is no one who is right for me. I believe he will understand what I went through and see the scars on my heart.<><>
I’ll be patient enough and wait for someone special <>to make me vibrate and make me feel that I’m not guilty of all the shit that happened to me. <><>
With him, I will really become myself again and find that peace in my heart that I have dreamed of for so long. <><>
Even if my father didn’t show me what love is, there will be a man who will.<><>
