Maybe it goes against all the advice you’ve already been given. Maybe I’m completely wrong.
I kept cordial relations with each of my exes. I am a close friend of almost all the boys I have cared for, of all those who did not feel the same as me or of all those with whom things have never been able to get serious.
But I don’t think that throwing someone out of their life just because they don’t feel the same way as we do or because their feelings have changed is a good thing. It would be like losing two people: a loved one and a friend.
And the friend is the more important of the two.
I believe it is possible to ‘give up’ on someone while keeping them in their life.
They say we have to let go completely. It is said that if they do not come completely out of our life, we cannot forget. We are told to move on. To pretend that said person never existed.
But even when ejecting a person from his life, it remains difficult to eject him from his heart. So why complicate your life?
Despite all feelings of love, you have above all built a relationship of friendship.
Don’t lose it.
And yes, being rejected, breaking up with someone, or realizing that our feelings are not mutual is painful. You probably cry every night. (I know what it is, I experienced it). You drink to forget. (Guilty too).
You are upset and will be upset for a while, but afterward, you will wonder what is most important. And the most important thing is the person concerned.
Because when you love someone, when you really love them, you make the choice to keep them in your life, whatever place they occupy.
The most lasting relationships in my life are those I have with people who know me better than I know myself. It was the love stories that I thought were perfect that didn’t turn out to be the most disappointing. People unable to love me, despite our respective efforts. And it doesn’t matter. People who continue to fight for each other, even when nothing has gone as planned, should be respected.
Having taken on the right role, when the other couldn’t, deserves respect. I deserve respect because I have forgiven the suffering that has been inflicted on me and moved on. But I also respect these people because they chose to keep me in their lives, even if it was not easy. Finally, I am strong and I respect myself for that.
Because it is something that hardens us.
We are constantly told that the best thing is to eject people from our lives so as not to suffer ourselves and to make others suffer. So you let people you want to go to because you think that’s what you have to do.
We don’t respond to their messages, because we don’t want to hurt them or give them false hopes. We renounce relationships that are dear to us because we believe that this is the best thing to do.
But I firmly believe that we should hold on to all those who embellish our lives.
Because you end up giving up on people. Even if it takes a little longer, it doesn’t matter.
I find that there is something very beautiful in the fact of ‘renouncing’ someone, without necessarily having to lose them.
One moment, we look at the other and we are made with love; and without us noticing it, we find ourselves laughing over a coffee while remembering all the things that we went through together.
Giving up on someone is not easy and part of us will always hold on to that person, but that love will become quiet love.
And I think it’s important to keep those we love around us. Few are those who really know us. Along the way, they will give you advice, just like any friend would.
And these are the people, the ones you loved before you learned to love them differently, who want the best for you. They are the ones who love you, maybe not as you would like, but they love you as best they can.
Sometimes love does not come in the form you would like. But we may end up finding unconditional love in the hearts of those who once hurt us.