During the first months of each relationship, both partners are transported by a euphoria due to the presence of the love hormone, oxytocin; it is, therefore, more difficult for them to foresee potential alarm signals. Everyone is convinced that this person who makes him laugh and pleases him could not hurt him.
We must not be blinded by this flow of emotions. If your partner wants you to do one of the following things, be aware that it would be best to distance yourself and find someone who loves you for who you are.
Your partner wants:
1 – You change your look
It is quite normal to want your partner to find you attractive but if he thinks that you would be s exier if you lose weight, do not be fooled. Your partner should always encourage you and never belittle you about your physique. If you love to wear a D cup, do it, but do not let your other half convince you that you are not beautiful as you are.
2 – You do something that makes you feel uncomfortable during the se xual act
As a mature and accomplished adult, you know what you love s exually and what excites you or not. If you like anal se x, for example, and your partner shares that passion, have fun! But if he has a predilection for violent se x and you are not a fan, do not let him abuse you.
Bianca Laureano, a s ex education teacher, therapist and co-founder of the Woman of Color S ex ual Health Network, says she receives several heterose xual women who say that their se xual experiences and desires are limited to pleasing their man.
3 – You stopped to see your friends and family
A partner who always finds fault and criticism about you and who tries to get away from your loved ones, is really not good for you. These types of people are often embittered and jealous and do not like you helping others: prepare your sister’s wedding, go out for a drink with your colleagues and so on. Being jealous of your old conquests and ex is one thing but if it prevents you from spending time with your loved ones and wants you to do it or tries to control you, ask yourself the question of knowing if it is not harmful to your existence.
Doctor Catia Harrington, psychiatrist and psychologist in New York says that “jealousy is not something cute, it’s a warning.”
4 – Renounce all private life
According to Dr. Harrington, the invasion of your privacy is not only something disturbing, it is also a way of controlling you that can quickly escalate. She led couples therapies with partners who closed their bank account, accessed their email addresses and social networks, and even physically assaulted each other. She warns against thinking “he does all this because he loves me”.
5 – “Move on to something else”
A good partner is supposed to support you and reassure you when you need him. Laureano says, “If your partner asks you to simply” move on “when you complain about an incident at your workplace or a s exual assault or other traumatic experience that you have experienced in the past, do not let it happen. The healing process takes time and if you want to be in complete osmosis, your partner must help you through any traumatic experience that you would have gone through.
6 – Exceed certain pre-established limits
According to Laureano, your partner should never push you to exceed the limits beyond which you do not want to go as you force to buy an object beyond your means or insist that you parachute with him while you hate to altitude.
Your partner must accept your “no’s” without trying to change your mind through force.
7 – Make you feel guilty about your actions or your existence
A good relationship should make you feel safe, loved and supported, according to Dr. Harrington. This is part of the job of your half. If he belittles or abuses you and the trust you place in him, stay away from that person.