Disputes, a necessary evil? The therapists are unanimous if the quarrels crystallize the conflicts and disassemble the unions, these squabbles sometimes have good and help to strengthen a couple, provided they know how to overcome them. What are the most common conflicts within a couple and how can they be beneficial?
Battlegrounds of choice of a couple? Finances, s ex, sharing of responsibilities, links with the family. A couple can better manage their conflicts around angry topics, find a consensus without violence, without rancor and without putting love to the wrong. What are the 5 most inevitable but also most constructive quarrels for a couple?
Money feeds the quarrels within a couple
Money is the first reason for quarreling in a couple. Tensions arise when the woman works hard or earns twice her spouse. The power returns to the one who wears the pants and the servitude to the one who is unemployed, who lives badly this dependence. The silver divided, even when the resources are abundant, many couples who have opposite relationship with money suffer. The gambler goes for the carefree and thrifty for the stingy.
When we love, we do not count? Not always true. To avoid conflict, the couple should establish a budget, discuss with tact, without taboos or embarrassment, its financial situation, its objectives and priorities. The question then becomes a common responsibility.
S ex conditions couples unknowingly
S ex is as difficult as money to deal with within a couple, for fear of rushing, breaking romanticism or simple modesty. For some people, talking about s ex breaks the charm or disrupts a little more the course of their life, so they do not talk about their sexual agreement, or to say what is good, or what goes wrong. Others fear the outpourings of affection or dare not take the lead, and affirm their desires as they project themselves into the refusal of the other. By dint of silencing this discomfort, the tension rises and finally shatters the most vulnerable couples. The words chosen, reproaches, confidences or sharp words define the contours of the s exuality of a couple. If one partner is trying to explain what the other person is experiencing in the s exual relationship, the assailant of questions, it should be seen as a mark of interest and attention, even a concern. No need to turn, to be on the defensive, there is no harm in saying what we like or not, its enjoyment and desire that the other is not supposed to guess. The se xuality and the symbiosis of two bodies, it does not decide and does not pose an ultimatum, it is tamed and cultivated.
Fear my anger!
Managing negative emotions, anger in mind, is not an easy task. The virulent reactions of an angry spouse, very reluctant to call into question, undermine the quality of exchanges and instinctively generate repetitive conflicts. A major problem arises when the couple is composed by two personalities with hot temper broth and who lynch each other. It is impossible to avoid the contexts that make us out of our hinges, but It is quite opportune to know how to retain your hostility and anger by constantly being attentive to the emotions of your partner. The blossoming of a couple comes above all by the serenity that everyone is able to maintain.
My beloved mother-in-law
The connivance between two partners can be altered by the overgrown intrusion of the family. School holidays, institutionalized lunches, education of children, being in a relationship also means having to deal with the mother who “knows everything and controls everything” with the other. But how to find the right distance without causing a stir in your relationship? It is advisable to talk about it without taboo to your spouse and to express your frustration and impression of being invaded, and to work together to center the couple on yourself. The golden rule is to let no one interfere in his conflicts.
Daily responsibilities, who does what?
Do the dishes or the races, put the curtains, take out the trash … In 2017, these tasks are unfortunately still poorly distributed within the family home. Result of the races: these inequalities, of which the men remain little conscious are not without creating strong turbulence in the couples. Nevertheless, household chores if they have not ended up being a source of arguments, they also help to tighten the bonds, or even to boost the libido, if they are done with dedication and a lot of empathy. For the small as for the big chores, a couple has a lot of interest to team up and to invest more for the well-being of the couple.